Yes, i haven't been blogging for a while. Cuz my com is too slow to afford it. And
also, im really busy nowadays. sigh. i really miss the days i could watch tv every
day after school. Then take a good nap before waking up to do a LITTLE BIT of
homework. :) hahhh!!! lovely!
well, it's different now. I have headaches almost every day, literally and subtly.
I am really stressed now. I even stayed home a few days because of this. That
means i'll have more to catch up on. Which also implies more stress to come.
UGhh.. i reallly wish this disgusting routine of mine would stop. At least, for an
innocent day! arggh! i wanna go see a psychiatrist someday. I can't handle it. really.
I feel tired of having this weird feeling. Let me try to describe it. I'll feel really
tired and depressed at the same time. If you ask me why, I'll ask you back. It's
very weird. And my neck always seem to harden. When I visited the doctor that
other time, he said it was stressed induced. He gave me some medicine. I took it.
And felt better for a few days and the tightness came back when i stopped taking
them. This is frustrating because I genuinely hope to recover from whatever illness
this is, but i don't wanna depend on medicine. They are not good for the human
body if consumed too much. Then i gave up on those medicine.
And i was asking myself why i was so desperate to find cure. I mean, I am a christian
and could always seek help through God. But i kinda felt like he wasn't there. So i
started flipping through my bible every day. It helped. Every time i read the bible, it
seems like every pain is gone. God might have simply lifted my burdens in those
moments. The thing is, after some time, I'll feel the tightness in the neck again. And
this is a struggle cuz i feel tired of everything. I feel tired of BEING tired all the time.
Tired physically and tired emotionally and spiritually.
I really wanna grow closer to God and always depend on him not only in times of need
but every other time. I don't wanna feel tired or depressed anymore. I wanna be set
free from all that's grasping onto me. I wanna have faith in God in whatever i do...
if any of you would wanna give me some advice on this. Feel free to talk to me on msn
or even here on my tagboard. Thank you and may God Bless You! :)
